Why You Should Avoid Missing One-on-Ones and What to Do If You Must Cancel

Mar 30

Subscribe to The Thoughtful Leader newsletter to discover leadership insights to elevate your team's performance.

Have you ever had a fun meet-up planned with a friend, something you look forward to for days ahead of time, and then, suddenly, your friend cancels at the last minute? Maybe a work emergency came up, or something changed in their schedule making your outing not so convenient anymore. Though you accept the cancelation and move on, there is still a sting of disappointment and the lingering question of how much your friendship is valued.

The work relationship between you and your direct reports exists in a more professional context, but is nonetheless similar to a friendship which must be maintained. Would you rather be viewed as a trusted confidant and advisor or as a flaky and unpredictable boss?

In this article find out why you should do everything in your power not to miss out on those important one-on-one meetings with your team.

Why you should NOT skip scheduled one-on-ones

Disrupting the flow

One-on-one meetings with your direct reports should be a regularly occurring appointment that is logged and written on both of your calendars.

Whether you hold these weekly, bi-weekly or monthly, one-on-ones should typically be set on the same recurring day and time.
E.g., every Friday at 11:00 you meet with your team member Jane.
This establishes a cadence and makes one-on-one meetings a routine.

When you cancel a one-on-one you are breaking the routine and throwing a disruption into the operation of what should be a smoothly running process.

Every time a one-on-one meeting is canceled or pushed back, the upcoming schedule of events is thrown into question. Employees may start to wonder if your next meeting with them will happen as planned or need to be adjusted. They will be left hanging without valuable input from you for the next week or even a whole month!

Hindering productivity

Disruption and uncertainty are far from the last of the negative consequences caused by a cancelation. According to the Harvard Business Review, some of the most costly effects of missing your one-on-ones are in the realm of productivity.

Here are some of the ways skipping out on one-on-ones reduces productivity for both you and your direct report:

Unclear priorities - Without an opportunity to check in with you directly, employees may end up without a strong understanding on what work items they should be focusing on.
More tasks to manage - Lacking clear direction, your team members are more likely to email, call or come to your door with many questions and clarifications.
Fixing mistakes - Worst case scenario, you miss the opportunity to direct your employee appropriately and they end up doing something incorrectly. You will then have to walk back and correct any missteps, costing both time and efficiency.

Lowering Morale

Perhaps the most undesirable result of backing out of your one-on-one meeting with an employee is the damage this does to their engagement and sense of value. By prioritizing other things over them, an unspoken message is conveyed that they are not as important to you. Even if this isn’t the case, it is very difficult to regain trust once it has been eroded,

The more often you fall into the habit of canceling or changing one-on-one appointments with your direct report, the more this negative effect on your relationship with them will compound.

If you MUST cancel a one-on-one meeting

Give appropriate notice

No one likes being brushed off at the last minute. If something important really has come up that requires you to miss a scheduled meeting with your team member, make an effort to let them know ASAP.

If possible, a day's notice is ideal. This gives your direct report ample time to reschedule their own activities and shows that you value their time and the effort they put into preparation.

Several hours before the meeting is adequate. If you realize the day-of that there are other urgent matters that need your attention, reach out about postponing a one-on-one as early as you can.

DON’T bring it up 15 minutes beforehand. This will frustrate and exasperate your employee. If they have been expecting a meeting with you all day, changing plans on such short notice will not be a welcome surprise.

Tell them in person

Or as close to in person as possible. It is common courtesy to take a little time to seek out your employee and explain to them directly why you would like to change the plan. This will show that you value their input and allow you to gauge their reaction. Maybe they will appear relieved or be totally fine with missing the one-on-one meeting. Maybe they will seem a bit disappointed, in which case, it is important to try to reschedule and regain that lost time with them.

If telling your team member in person isn’t feasible, try to at least give them a phone call to discuss the situation. It is still more personal and considerate than sending a quick and impromptu email or text message.

Shorten the one-on-one

See if there is any way to hold a shorter, quicker version of your normal one-on-one meeting with the employee. Let them know that you would rather still have time to check in with them and hold a discussion, albeit brief, than to simply cancel outright. A fifteen minute pow-wow can still be an effective and powerful relationship-building tool.

Reschedule

If cancelling your one-on-one with a team member is unavoidable, be sure to offer an alternative time to meet with them. Rescheduling the meeting instead of canceling it is a much better solution for everyone concerned. The employee will feel good about your effort to maintain the standards of your relationship with them and they will be reassured that you are not simply blowing them off. As a manager, you will benefit by not missing out on valuable time which can be spent developing your employees.

The biggest takeaway here is how important one-on-one meetings really are. Canceling when things get busy may seem like an easy way to reclaim 30 minutes of the day for larger tasks, but the long-term negatives of doing so will ultimately outweigh the short-term benefits.