7 Funny Work Goals That Will Make You Laugh
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Writing work goals can be absolutely tedious.
Parroting corporate goals, as our own, is dull and unsexy. And why can’t we just write down “Do whatever my boss says?”
I don’t have any easy answers on what your work goals should be.
However, I did ask the internet on some of the craziest work goals they’ve seen.
Prepare to be shocked. 😆
Laugh out loud. 🤣
Or both. 😸
Fine, I’ll work for WikiLeaks if you’re paying.
Work Goal
Hack into Bank of America.
Context
Facebook employee was told that he wasn’t moving fast enough and breaking things.
Didn’t know corporate sponsors are allowed at work.
Work Goal
Take Claritin® and FLONASE®.
Context
HR told the employee that her sniffing and snorting distracted her cube mates.
If we took it out to the parking lot, I’d take him out.
Work Goal
Argue with my boss.
Context
McKinsey told a consultant that he was obligated to dissent.
I guess foosball is a team sport.
Work Goal
Play more foosball.
Context
An employee was told that she was too focused on work and hurt team morale by not hanging out with others.
Standing for 8 hours straight is torture in some countries.
Work Goal
Use my standing desk.
Context
Boss said that the employee was “frankly unfit, physically to be on this job.” This is about to a job that requires sitting all day, and the individual was overweight.
I’ll stop discussing dragons and unicorns at work.
Work Goal
No more white lies.
Context
Here’s what the manager wrote in the last performance review:
We have recognized your abilities; you could be a good fictional writer. We came to know about your hidden strength after reading your repeated leave applications in the past six months.
I’m busy shopping, if you need me.
Work Goal
Wear attractive clothing.
Context
A male manager at JP Morgan instructed a female subordinate to wear more “attractive” clothing if she wanted to advance.
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