How to Have Difficult Conversations with Employees: 10 Crucial Examples
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WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU CONQUER THE TOUGH CONVERSATIONS
Have you ever been lost for words giving an employee negative feedback? Do you find giving performance reviews particularly stressful? We know that these conversations aren’t easy, but our templates below will help you get a head start. Discover more insightful leadership advice from The Thougthful Leader to elevate your team's performance.
HOW TO RESPOND :
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE COMPLAINS ABOUT A RAISE
For an employee who genuinely thinks they deserve a raise, explaining to them the reasoning can be uncomfortable. Your best employees will be understanding of these circumstances.
“(_____), I understand that you want to talk about the reasoning behind why you did not get an increase (or a bigger increase) in your salary this year. I am happy to talk to you about that so you can understand the situation better.
As you know, salary increases are not guaranteed at this company. Salary increases can only be given out when the company is growing and doing well, and when the employee in question has made a substantial contribution to that growth. Your last performance review summary should help point out what you can do next year to help increase overall results for the company. If you want to work through that feedback together, please let me know and I am happy to do so. It is important to discuss your specific contributions to the company and what those contributions need to be in the coming months.”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE ISN’T GETTING WORK DONE
Confronting an employee who is not putting in their fair share is important. Make sure you use the correct terminology to convey your stance.
“(_____), when you started off here in this job, we all believed you showed a lot of promise to advance. We all thought very highly of you and were sure you would do well.
Lately, we don’t see the signs of that as much. Would you agree that based on your recent work, we couldn’t justify those premises? You don’t seem to be putting in a complete effort. I want to help and find out why this is the case. Is there anything going on that prevents you from giving your best effort?
If so, we’d like to see if we can do anything to help you overcome this problem. We’re concerned about you. Our team relies on you and it is essential that everyone completes their work. As long as you really want to keep this job, we can figure out what we can do to get you back to your usual great performance and for you to meet or exceed our benchmarks.”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE IS CONSISTENTLY LATE
Traffic and unexpected events happen, but when an employee is consistently strolling in five to ten minutes late, it may be time to say something.
“(_____), I enjoy having you on the team with us and am continually impressed by the strong work that you contribute. I do have a specific issue that I believe we need to address. The off-chance lateness has now become habitual and I am worried about it impacting your performance here at work. Is this a problem that you can fix easily now that we have brought it to light?”
WHEN EMPLOYEES AREN’T TAKING INITIATIVE
If an employee has showcased potential in their growing abilities but needs to take more initiative, the conversation can be tricky. Here is a sample:
“(_____), we are not initiating a fault-finding exercise here, but I notice that you haven’t been taking many initiative on new projects. We would love to see you in a leadership position, and it could be a great way to develop your role. I’m sure you’ll agree with that goal and want to advance as well. We want to support you in any ideas or approaches you would like to try in taking more responsibility. Even if these approaches don’t work, we can learn from it for the next approach. Is there anything specific we can work with you on to help accomplish those goals?”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE’S ATTITUDE IS CONTROVERSIAL
No manager wants to settle disagreements or continually mediate workplace drama. This is an effective summary to tell an employee that their actions will not be accepted.
“(_____), I appreciate your input in workplace relations. When you have an issue, it’s helpful for me and the team if you share it with me so I can address it. That’s a positive, productive move. On this occasion, you did or said ___________to ______. That was not helpful to others and went against the company’s interests and goals. On another occasion, you did or said ___________. That bordered on insubordination. This paints a picture for me that you do not really want to be in this role. I’d like to hear from you that you really do want to be here, and how you plan to show that more clearly in the future.”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE ISN’T FOCUSING ON THE DETAILS
Do you have an employee that has grand visions for success but is missing the smaller details that make it a reality?
“I appreciate your passion for big ideas and the bigger picture goals. While working on these big goals, I want to make sure you don’t miss those little blind spots. There seems to be room for improvement in your recent attention to detail. For your next project, let’s put together a detailed checklist of all your deliverables to make sure you don’t miss anything. Let’s work together to make sure every angle is covered and every box checked.”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE NEEDS BETTER TIME MANAGEMENT
Sometimes employees need encouragement and teamwork to help motivate them in accomplishing their best work.
“I’ve noticed that you struggled to manage your time during the last couple of weeks. It impacted the rest of the team because they were waiting for various aspects of projects from you. We can work together to figure this out, but let’s make sure you’re set up to optimize your time going forward. Along with planning for the coming weeks, maybe you can make a point of planning your time day-to-day as well. I’ll set up 10 to 15-minute meetings in the mornings so we can all share what we’re working on and what we accomplished the previous day. This should help us stay on track and focused as a team to reach our goals.”"
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE IS DISENGAGED AT WORK
Every once in a while, an employee can get into a slump. Creativity and drive are down and they seem to be less motivated.
“I have noticed you seem a bit distracted and less motivated than usual and it’s affecting your outlook on your work. Your creative thinking and drive don’t seem to be as high as usual. I want to help. Are there any skills you’d like to develop or special projects you’d like to take charge of? Let’s set up a time to discuss your roles and responsibilities. I want to make sure we are giving you the best atmosphere and stepping blocks to perform your best.”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE IS NOT GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS
It is important for an employee to get along with others as this promotes a peaceful, welcoming workplace.
“(_____) mentioned something you said earlier that offended her. I don’t think ____ was comfortable bringing it up with you so I am here to talk it over. Can you fill me in on what happened? I’m assuming it was a misunderstanding, but it is important to me that we all get along as a strong team. It would be great if you guys could talk through it, maybe you can apologize and suggest an outing to talk about it. I am happy to follow as well if it would be helpful to have me.”
WHEN AN EMPLOYEE IS NOT LISTENING
Sometimes there is an employee who believes they are not required to complete certain actions of their job description, here’s something to say,
“(_____), earlier today I asked you to do something (give more detail regarding specific task) and you decided not to do it or refused. You must understand that is not acceptable while here at work. It is insubordination and we cannot tolerate that type of behavior going forward. If it is not corrected, it is cause for termination. I will explain what needs to be done here and why it is a problem (Insert more information about the problem at hand). I am willing to give you another chance to accept this task and give us your very best effort Would you like another chance?“
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