6 Do’s and Don’ts For When Personal Issues Interfere With Work
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Introduction
While the goal is to keep work and personal life separate, there will inevitably be times the two become intertwined. As managers, helping an employee through a personal crisis demonstrates you care about their wellbeing and may also lessen the effect the crisis has on their work performance.
The way you deal with an employee's personal problem at work will vary. Different issues require different approaches and different people require different approaches. Sometimes one employee dealing with a recent loss may need a lot of additional support and flexibility whereas another person may work through this challenge without any impact on their work. There is no cookie-cutter approach.
How to Identify if an Employee is Dealing with a Personal Issue
They Share It With You
The best and most common scenario is that the employee shares what they are going through. Listening during this conversation will allow the employee to provide the amount of information they are comfortable with as well as allow them to share their needs. Your goal should be to understand the problem, stick to the facts, and avoid being overly sympathetic as this could set false expectations for the employee.
You Notice An Unexplained Sudden Change In Performance/Behavior
When you notice a sudden unexplained change in an employee's behavior you may need to invite them to have a conversation with you individually. It’s crucial you share with the employee what brought the matter to your attention so they can be aware. In this instance, it is safe to assume one of two things, one: the employee is unaware that their problem is affecting their work, or two: the employee is fearful of sharing what is going on. When you invite the employee to have a conversation, follow the same tips shared above; listen and be compassionate.
Now that you know your employee is dealing with a personal problem, what should you do?
Do’s and Don’ts for Dealing With An Employee's Personal Problem
Do’s
Listen
It is important to listen and understand the facts of the situation. This will also help you in knowing how to best support your employee. Listening will allow you to determine what the source of the problem is; it could be that the employee has quit smoking and is dealing with withdrawals or it could be the employee just lost a parent.
Be Compassionate
Remember that everyone in life suffers from personal problems from time to time. It is likely out of the employee's control what they are dealing with.
Communicate The Situation To Those Its Relevant To On The Team
Sharing information with the team that is relevant to the situation will allow them to accommodate and understand the employee's personal situation. Only share information that the employee has given consent to share. Always use discretion when sharing.
Create A Company Support System
As a manager, you cannot become a therapist or confidante for your employees. Having a support system in the office allows for all the employees to be supported. This can vary from having a company therapist – provided insurance covers it, allowing remote work options, or creating an open door policy that invites employees to come to the managers and talk to them if needed.
Check in Regularly With The Employee
Depending on the severity of the issue, set up weekly or monthly check-ins with the employee. This lets the employee know you are there to help as well as lets you know if the employee is still needing accommodations.
Make a plan of what you can allow for the employee
Set up clear boundaries of what you can and cannot accommodate. If you are only able to give an employee a certain amount of time off, make that clear ahead of time. Maybe you can allow the employee to work remotely or take a leave. Time off is most appropriate in severe situations such as dealing with a death, or recent childbirth.
Do Nots
Don’t Coddle The Employee
You can be compassionate without babying the employee. Feeding too much into the employee and their problem could present as favoritism. It is important to uphold professional boundaries with employees during a personal crisis.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Don't make assumptions about the problem, the person, or the source of the problem. You may assume the problem is a home problem, but it is a problem being exacerbated by workload stress. In this case, the company can try and alleviate some of the stress in the workplace.
Don’t Treat Every Employees Problem The Same Way
Once you have listened to the employee and know what is going on you will know the best way to deal with their situation. Some employees may be letting you know as due diligence and don't want your expectations of them to change. Some employees will be letting you know because they need support and flexibility from you. It is important to respond situationally. No one response fits all.
Conclusion
The most important thing when dealing with an employee who is having a personal issue affecting their work is to remember that each employee will react differently to different situations. Listening to the employee allows you to understand their needs and make a clear plan forward to help them feel supported and get back on their feet in the office as soon as they feel ready.
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