Bringing Up Medical or Personal Issues in a One-on-One Meeting: Dos & Don'ts

Mar 24

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Have you ever been in a position where you had to manage an employee with a significant medical condition or personal issue? Millions of workers around the world deal with a wide variety of problems in their personal lives which, at times, can spill over into work.

First, it is important to understand the situation and what difficulties your employee might be struggling with. Ask yourself why you think it is necessary to bridge the subject in your one-on-one meetings.

Do you notice a negative impact on the employee's performance?
Is it taking a toll on their morale?
Do you want to show your support and goodwill?
Are you hoping for more details to better understand the employee?

Whatever the reason, there are some dos and don'ts which managers should be aware of when bringing up sensitive topics with their employees.

Five Things You Should Do

Follow laws and HR guidelines

If your direct report has a serious health condition, whether it be physical or mental health related, you most likely already know about it in a general sense. Make sure to comply with any labor laws which are applicable in your country, state or company. Know when to draw a line as to what is too personal or private to bring up with your employee. If you have any doubts or uncertainties, it wouldn't hurt to check in with your HR department for clarification.

Approach the subject tactfully

As mentioned in the previous point, it is always better to be cautious when dealing with sensitive topics. Try to start off with a subtle lead-in to initiate conversation about the issue. For example, if you know your employee recently went through a divorce, you might ask "What is weighing on you in your daily life?" rather than "How are you coping with the divorce?". By engaging in tactful discussion, you open up the floor for your direct report to share as much or as little as they like about their current struggles.

Show empathy

The best thing you can do for an employee who is having a hard time is to show that you are there for them. Be attentive to their requests and really listen to what they say during one-on-one meetings. Make them feel seen, heard and appreciated by you. Let your reports know that it is okay for them to share their feelings or ask for help if they need it. After all, a core responsibility as a manager is to ensure the continued success of your employees.

Offer accommodations, be flexible

If you have noticed that the employee has had trouble delivering or meeting performance expectations, think about ways that you can work together to overcome this challenge. Accommodations may be helpful to your report and allow them to get back on track at work. For example, if you have an employee who was recently diagnosed with Lyme’s disease which can cause fatigue and chronic pain, consider allowing reasonable accommodation for doctors visits or therapy appointments. Remember, this is not special treatment, but rather an adaptation that will work for both parties effectively.

Be supportive and helpful

Being a supportive manager who displays genuine concern for their reports is the way to go to earn respect and rapport. You can offer helpful resources or give well wishes to keep spirits up. Employees will be appreciative of your openness towards their issue and willingness to adapt.

Five Things You Should NOT Do

Unknowingly discriminate

It can be difficult to navigate these waters if you are not up to speed on the details of the employee's personal issue or any legal compliance that applies. Use caution when addressing certain topics to avoid misunderstandings or unforeseen consequences.

Assume that your employee is comfortable

It's true that one-on-one meetings can be a more casual relationship-building interaction between manager and employee. However, some people simply will not feel comfortable sharing intimate details of their lives with coworkers, let alone a manager. You shouldn't assume that every employee will be okay with talking about anything and everything. You could be seen as prying or inappropriate if you bring up something that is too personal.

Be indifferent

There is nothing more demoralizing than having a boss who sees you as just another resource or pawn in the game. When managers ignore everything other than what is strictly work related, it makes employees feel that they are not being viewed on a human level. Indifference towards your employee’s personal issues will only build resentment and distrust.

Leave it up to them to "fix" the issue

You should work closely with your report and make resolving any performance issues a partnership. Shifting the burden of managing their health or personal problem alone adds pressure and makes employees feel isolated. It is definitely out of line to simply berate or discipline one of your reports for not meeting expectations if the cause is related to a serious issue taking its toll on their ability to work.

Try to be a doctor or therapist

Your job as a manager is to provide supportive and professional mentorship in the workplace. Steer clear of giving unwarranted advice about specific personal problems that you are not an expert in. Leave diagnoses, treatment recommendations and so on to the medical professionals.